Tomorrow’s going to be a great day! One of my oldest friends has returned to the Netherlands and is coming to visit! Hooray! Okay, his timing stinks – moving back just before I move away – but we can’t have everything, can we? Last time we saw each other, his daughter was a newborn and his son was (I believe) still in diapers. As with my own kids, the time has just flown and now everyone’s suddenly tall and mature and … well, practically grown up.
It’s interesting, as a foreigner, how friends have drifted into and out of my life. When I moved here, I had a small but very close-knit core of dear friends in the US. Making new friends was difficult because I’m (believe it or not!) shy to the point of being tongue-tied in most social settings. But living here without friends wasn’t really an option, so …. I began developing new skills. Friendships seemed to spring up very quickly with other foreigners but each time someone moved back to their homeland or disappeared for other reasons, I took it really hard. Why didn’t they stay in touch? Hadn’t they really liked me after all? The insecurity was nearly overwhelming. Many years passed before I understood that what I thought were friendships were really just acquaintances. Very different people thrown into the same situation, simply seeking out a friendly face to help make it through the days. In the funny way that Life operates, once I realized this and quit trying so hard to make friends, I started making friends. LOL. And now that I’m moving back to the US, I find myself feeling sad at leaving behind this small core of very dear friends in the Netherlands.
(One wonders just who is out there laughing at us sometimes, doesn’t one?)
Through the years here, I’ve remained close to my dearest friends in the US, and I look forward to staying just as close to my dear Dutch friends after I’ve left. ((((Hugs)))) to you, dear friends!
Harmien said
I’m so happy for you that you’re moving back to Maine, but still I think it’s a rotten thing to do… ;o) … so hopefully we won’t be like those old acquaintances and we’ll stay in touch!
Mylene said
You make me cry and now can’t stop it! As i do feel the same having live to a couple of different places, i miss my friends back home, my friends in Hongkong, friends when i was in college which was far from our home place and can only go home twice a year then.
We do have hope to go back home too someday, Kees likes the idea staying in Asia only we will have to see how the children are.
Wish you all the best!! (((hugs)))
leechbabe said
That is always the hardest part of moving. Even when going interstate I have had the same problems.
Siobhan said
Gee, I resemble those remarks about your experiences with friends at home & friends in your new country, only I haven’t made those close friends.
Oh well… thank God for the Internet!! I am sure that those who are treasured will remain so. Big hugs. Enjoy your friend’s visit.
Nancy said
I also resemble your remarks, but my situation is from living in a big city environment in Northern Virginia to a small town clique environment in South Carolina. It is very hard to make friends here, especially when you choose to not be a part of the “social scene”, so I treasure the ones I left behind and thank God for modern technology!
Jennifer said
Well, I hope you count me as a “new” friend in the US! I feel your sadness about leaving friends behind when you move. I also do not have many very close friends, but the ones I do have I attach to very deeply and it is so difficult when we are seperated. You are welcome in my house any time!!
Anna said
Sounds a lot like grad school. Still, I’ve found it difficult to make new friends after our cross-country move–especially not having children. In a few years that won’t matter, but it would be nice for the dude and I to have some friends now!
grandpa jim said
Such a deep thinking blog. I suspect most of us have had difficulty with friendship vs acquaintance.
Love
Melissa said
I missed your previous post about booking flights to go ‘home’. All the best! Yes it’s true there are always happiness and sorrow around. But with the internet it is easier to keep in touch.
Have a wonderful weekend, and visit with your good friends.
Heidi said
I ditto Harmien! You are rotten for leaving us but that means we really care about you or we would not care less. I hope you are incredibly happy in Maine once again but I hope you miss me enough to stay in touch.
I moved to Holland very young and set up my life here while becoming an adult. Wait! Am I an adult? Well, that is too deep to ponder here…lol. But I found I was able to fall into a life here that feels really good. I must admit I overcame a terrible shyness and still fall into it at times but never with people who share my passion for a needle. It seems the people were brought to cross my path as you did.
Hugs (and a tear for missing you)~
Heidi